jps | Yeah JP is a closet freak, don’t tell my mom

So I deactivated my Fetlife account. If you are reading this; and you are not my girlfriend or a bot, you probably didn’t know I had one. Yeah JP is a closet freak, don’t tell my mom.

When I was married, I had this idealized view of everyone else’s sex life. I imagined you all looked awesome naked and frolicked like little sex fairies. Everyone else was having a good time but me.

Fetlife was where the cool kids hanged out, those open minded, sexually free people that have all the fun.

When my girl and I got together, we both got Fetlife accounts. I thought, “Oh my god. I am finally with the cool kids.”

I forgot that cool kids are assholes.

She is immensely popular. There are dudes and even a few women messaging her every day. She could post a picture of her toe, and there will be fifty people sending her messages begging to suck it.

I am less popular than old chewing gum, only I don’t even get to stick to your shoe.

There is something far too old and far to conservative about me. I’m soft about the middle, thinning up top, and from an age where a man was a man. He wasn’t a cis man, a post op man, or a pre-op man. Men didn’t buy a shit ton of hair products either. We washed with whatever crap there was in the bathroom, and we didn’t smell like flowers and oatmeal.

Our fathers fought in Vietnam. They went to work, supported families, married, and maybe even stayed married.

Men my age are divorced, work uncertain jobs, and lead a kind of disillusioned existence, now that the life our role models lived no longer exists

I’ve adapted pretty well in some ways. I like that the gays are getting married, although I am not sure why. I can use some tech, and I even waste a lot of time on them.

But

I have no idea how pintrest works, and everyone hates me on Fetlife.

But

I can only complain so much. I have the best sex life any man could ask for. My girl is fun and wonderful, and it doesn’t seem to bother her that I am not one of the cool kids.

Mirrored from Theater of JP's Mind.