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April 23rd, 2015

jps: (pic#897548)
Thursday, April 23rd, 2015 07:34 pm

I like to sit and watch my reef tank naked. It’s an expensive and weird. Not the naked part. Although, I do live with two very judgmental cats.

I have a forty five gallon reef tank with several coral frags, a giant cleaner shrimp, Coral Beauty, and a healthy population of hair algae.

The hair algae had been all that was in there or at least all you could see. It grows in a dense mats all over everything. It looked like I was making biodiesel in my bedroom.

I have since managed to get some control of it using a mini reactor, frequent water changes, a tooth brush, and extreme German granny porn. How extreme? As much sex appeal as a road accident extreme.

I like to lay in bed at night, while my cats attempt to smother me with their asses, and stare into the water. It reminds me of a time when I wanted to be a marine biologist, before I found out that I wasn’t quite smart enough to be a marine biologist.

But where some dreams die, others grow. Well mostly they died. I never became a scientist, or got super powers. I was a tech writer for a bit and some have called me a misogynist. I’m divorced. That was fun. It still is. For any of you men out there that get turned on by financial domination, I recommend it.

I give over half my money away to the ex. My ex lived off the money for a bit, while she tried to run a home daycare. Now she works at Walmart in the lawn and garden section. She has about two and a half years to pay me half of the equity of our house, where she is living. She has a better chance of crapping out a pine cone backwards than keeping the house. When I try to be a good person, I hope that she somehow makes the money. I paid for that house with soul sucking hours. Sure, I wasn’t breaking bricks, some guys have it worse, but four hour commutes, and shitty bosses will kill, eventually. I like to pretend that maybe she appreciates the fact that I enabled her to be a stay at home mom for awhile. There wasn’t much of that when we were married.

I’m not a little bitter about it though. I am like swallowed a whole box of coffee grounds a lot bitter.

But my unhappiness only goes as far as I let it. I like to remind myself of how much better things are now, how my job is not really a job, and how I won at life through sheer luck.

I also like to stare into my fish tank naked.

Mirrored from Theater of JP's Mind.